A Schedule

So, I still feel a bit overwhelmed, like I’m wandering around without a map.  

I know I need professional help, but, I am waiting til my physical on Monday to discuss this with my primary care physician.  I know there are medications that can help me.  I trust her to know which medication would be best for me and to direct me to resources that she is familiar and comfortable with.  

In the meantime I decided that a way to alleviate some of the guilt and shame I feel every time I eat anything, anytime I feel hunger, is to to give myself a schedule.  I literally almost typed “ a feeding schedule,” as if I were an animal.  I also have been using the RR Eating Disorder App.  It’s okay, a little clunky for me to use so far, but, it’s something.  I am trying to not be super controlling and set myself up for failure so, I think I will tell myself that I am allowed to eat at unscheduled times if I feel hungry to do so.  

Hunger.  I feel so hungry so often.  It makes me feel ashamed. Why do I have to be “a girl with a big appetite?